TREE HUGGIN HIPPIE HOOKER

TOASTY HOOKER

BUFFET EATIN HOOKERS

20 tranny stars for use of the phrase "ladyboy"

DON'T EAT THE NUTS HOOKER

I REEEEEALLY WANT A DOUBLE CHEESEBURGER HOOKER

WE AIN'T HAVIN IT IN THE LOBBY HOOKERS!

"BOATED ORANGE" HOOKER

SASSY HOOKER

COLOR COORDINATE YOUR HOOKERS

H.W.A. IS EXACTLY WHAT YOU THINK IT IS HOOKERS

HELL'S MOST WANTED HOOKERS

I see that our favorite.... "fornicators".... made the list.   And pagans, whoremongers, and drunkards.... wait, sports fans?

How do you say "PAARRTY"???  JUST.  LIKE.  THIS:

PARALLEL UNIVERSE DELUSIONAL HOOKER

You there...on the right!  Stop it!  We see what you're doing and we don't approve!  There's no excuse good enough for this to happen.  N-O-N-E.

1000 trolls, no stars

Fella on the left, give us a call, we wanna help you out too and give you "stars" in person.

'D'ASS RIGHT HOOKER

Guess who has a fancy big bootie b-day in exactly 10 days?
ME.

Thanks Lisa!

AS NASTY AS THEY WANNA BE HOOKERS

The godfathers of inappropriate and hookertude.  The only ones who made me smuggle tapes past parents (while wearing a "Like A Virgin" concert tee to school in 5th grade).
Daria, sew up a couple of those back-up dancer outfits... We need to "shake a lil somethin" special for my birthday party.

WE'RE GIVIN THEM ALL THE STARS IN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSICAL SYSTEM!

Sorry world, find another symbol, because there ain't no more.

WHOA HO HO NOT IN PUBLIC LIL HOOKER

SORRY NO YOU DON'T HOOKER

RED CARPET HOOKER

HAPPY 29TH BDAY HOOKER!

FUCKIN DAIKON HOOKERS

MY 20TH CENTURY TOY HOOKER

HOW DO WE LOVE THEE, LET US COUNT THE FANCY WAYS HOOKER

Anna Mae Bullock
You put the bad, and the ass, in BAD ASSERY.  Fancy Inc has been imitating your style, your rock n' roll swishy charisma, and your leggy dance moves for years.

WTF are you tryin to do Beyonce?  Break a hip?  Don't even think for a hot ass sexond, that you can compete with Ms Private Dancer.  Your hurky jerky lurky awful dance moves make you a national black woman embarrassment.  Lookit, Jay-Z is ringin you up right now to bring his rich ass some cheeseburgers so please stop with yourself and get the fuck offa the stage.

Keep on with the keep on ♥

ILLITERACY LEADS TO HOOKERCY

THE NOT SO WEEKLY TOP 5 HOOKER

Yes yes ya'll.  It's that time again.  You ready?  I'm continuing with a themed top 5, so let's get down to business.
(pause)


#5) I<3MYBUT, CALIFORNIA
I know this looks like my Jeep - for those of you who know me - but alas, it is not... however....
(Mental note:  Switch plates when registration is up)

#4) LV MY HOE, ILLINOIS
There's so much love in the air!  Can't you just feel it slapping you all up in your fancy face and pullin you down the street by your bruised arm?

#3) ILUV-ANL, FLORIDA

Ok, so let's play this game... You walk into the local DMV office to get a "vanity plate" and when asked what you want it to read, you whisper.... "i luv anl".  So the always pissy fat lady behind the counter shouts, "YOU WANT WHAT?  I COULDN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE FAN!!!"   

"I. LOVE. ANAL!!!!!"

And suddenly the needle scratches the record that you never noticed playing at the DMV.

                                       

#2) A55 ORGY, FLORIDA

"But MOMMMM I dooonnnn't waaaaannnnt grandpa to pick me up from little league practice anymore"

Yeah, us either kid.  And Fancy Inc has never played baseball.

DRUMROLL PLEASE!
For the first time in our fancy mclovin history we have a tie for first place!
You asked for it so we gave it to you (pause).

#1)  KUMLORD, CALIFORNIA
I can say with 100% certainty that you are "no friggin way in your PT CRUISER".
(Special shout out to Indira because it's the only car she rents when she visits LA)

#1) CUMGZLR, ILLINOIS

So much so they couldn't even ADVERTISE ON A CAR.  

Yep. 

That.  

Much.

                                       

*Disclaimer:  We aren't sure what the shit is goin on in the states of CA, IL, and FL, but common perception may help us speculate.

UNITED NATIONS OF HOOKERS

ANAL HOOKER

LET US MYSPACE UP YOUR BORING LIFE HOOKER

SHOUTIN OUT FELLOW HOOKERS

One of my all time favorite people started his... what... 278th blog now or someshit? That alone should qualify him to have his own post as a fancy hooker legend because we can all agree that's absurd.

Anyway, PEEP...it's pretty awesome and that's mostly because he stole our FH format and I gave him half of his pics.

He always bites me (pause).

Love and bagels and tits for this fancy tatted slutball floozy.

4 PUMPS = 1 LOAD HOOKER

WHY DATE DOWN WHEN YOU CAN UPGRADE TO THIS HOOKER?

STATS FOR HOOKERS

Ok, so looking at blog stats is always good for a laugh. And anyone with a stupid blog (especially one about HOOKERS) knows this too.

Here's just a peep, because we don't want to blow up everyone's spot.

Please note: BIG BOOTY GRANNY ANAL VIDEO

Now, in our defense we have not gone there...yet. Slim possibility of future research for any further consideration because Fancy Inc feels like you can explore your own weird/gross/wtf/eww fetishes. So how this person landed on FH is still a mystery.

Also please note: COFFEE TABLE HOOKER

You may remember this from a previous post here. It's not clear if the search was intended for something else or our post, b/c it blocks us from going to the referring link.... this is why:

That's right bitches! US Dept Of Energy is looking up hookers on the internet. We aren't surprised in the least but we're still gonna put our shitty ass government on BLAYAST!

In.

Yo.

Face.

Fucktards.