RECEIPT HAVIN HOOKER

TAMPON PLAYIN HOOKERS

GET YOUR PEE SHIELD TODAY HOOKER

YOU'RE MOM MUST BE PROUD HOOKER

What in the damn hell is this?  Fancy it most definitely is not.  An eyeball gangbang rape it most definitely is.  Look honey, just because Buy Best had a going out of business sale and times are tough, doesn't mean you have to give up on clothes.  And who are you looking at?  My guess is the hot cabana boy who's praying she doesn't shit out a dvd player (a la Pete Burns) before his shift ends.  Lord knows nobody wants to see where she's hiding the popcorn either.
*cue the movie*
Now playing... The Notebook.

I'M A HO' OKER

CLASS IS IN AGAIN HOOKERS

Having a blog with the word "hooker" has really turned into something of a social experiment... yeah yeah we all know the world is obsessed with fucking, and all things sex blabbity blah from the endless material we find and get. But seeing the blog stats is really... interesting...? Terrifying? HILARIOUS! It's like peeping into someone's private world.... google voyerism! We see everything, so don't even try to negate this or I'll tramp stample you all to death.

Ya'll search for hooker in every way possible and unpossible... there's a lot of predictability and a lot of.... not.

--hookers "doinit"
--tranny hookers (zzzz)
--hookers cumming (double zzzzzz)
--street corner hookers (sleeping pills zzzzzz)
--hookers hookin (i'd be friends with this linguist)
--croutch hooker (wtf is this? like in a bush? or is there a Croutching Hooker, Hidden Dragon porn we don't know about?)
--hooker camping (shut the hooker up, they DO this??? i'll report back with my research)
--emergency hookers (wtf?? break in case of fire? it must squirt water out)
--garfield hooker (extremely popular)
and on and on...

Also - there is definitely weird shit going down in Pakistan.

The absurdity of life aside, this is by far the other best part of doing all this pointless bullshit. It's entertaining, and eye opening, as all get out... a lot like watching a hooker run around Sluts R Us in platform stilettos on a 60 second shopping spree fueled by a 4 day coke binge and stolen credit card. Welcome to Awesomeville, population: the. entire. world.

Well, class is dismissed dickheads.  And don't forget your art homework for next time.

YOU'RE A TRAMP, HOOKER

Tramp it up, tramp it away, tramp it forevs.  We love you long time Otis.

CHILD SERVICES CALLED, THEY WANT YOUR KIDS BACK HOOKER

THE FANCIEST IN ALL THE LAND OF HOOKERDOM

Fancy Inc's very own, Daria.  I believe this was her attempt at "bowling".  Zero stars for effort, but 200,000 for her shoes.

ENJOY THIS MOMENT, IT'LL BE THE LAST OF IT'S KIND FROM A CUTE HOOKER

Appropriate shirt, no?  His face gets 10 Super Mario stars and an extra Burger King crown after that one is "accidentally" thrown away by his mom.

LAZY INABILITALATIN TO MATCH YOUR DRAWERS HOOKERS

Ok so since we're already goin to hell, let's keep the inappropriate party goin.
These bitches.
If your negligent parents are too busy taking water hair mohawk pics to remember your Amazon family vacay by, and you die a tragic death when pirahnas eat you from your toes up, and the authorities find your dead bodies in unmatching bras and panties - or bikinis - as the case may be.  Don't ever say that Fancy Inc didn't warn you.  We are just here to provide help and direction.

THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE MARRIED A HOOKER

THAT'S WHAT HE SAID HOOKERS

CYCLING HOOKERS

BOOTY POPPIN HOOKERS!

Yeah so we've been MIA lately.  Sorry.  Between work, having adventures with my favorite human Julio, Daria doing....who the hell knows what, and having the internet always shut down because I can't pay the bill, it's been "hard" to make any "magic happen".  We will try to work on this.

 So for now, please enjoy my gift to everyone who's cell number I have.  Merry Xmas Birthday!

I FEEL NAUSEOUS HOOKER

YOU WILL NEVER HEAR THIS REQUEST HOOKER

FANCY, YET AWFUL, HOOKER

I'M NOT THAT HUNGRY HOOKER

BRA STUFFIN HOOKERS

OOH LORD HELP ME HOOKER

Jesus christ... could this song be any more hookerific?  Sexy times and swoon times all the times.  2010 black and blues stars for you two.

YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG HOOKERS

But JUST because you're all futbol...soccer...what-the-fuck-ever players, we're gonna give you a pass because Fancy Inc wants to be wrapped up in your legs.  Except not little short homie on the left... everyone knows how we feel about "shorts".

LEARN HOW TO FIND A STREET CORNER HOOKER

NO SALLY, LIKE THIS HOOKER

CANDY CROTCH HOOKER

A modern day jock strap... football players will be snapping these on each others' asses in no time.

CHRISTWIRE.ORG IS POINTIN OUT HOOKERS

Is it just me, or is their fancy raydar way WAY off?  We'd never be caught dead with that raggedy tragedy called an "outfit" on.  

LIKE ALL GOOD HOOKERS

YOU JUST DON'T GET IT HOOKERS

A fail of the most umppity ump degree.  

BABY GOT BACK SHELF HOOKER

A trick worthy of fanciness.  And 10 stars.  Cookie shaped stars she can decorate her butt crack with.

ADVERTISING HOOKERS