NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC PRESENTS: FANCY HOOKER FAILS IN NATURE

It's not a competition necessarily. But certain animal species have gotten it into their heads that they are fancy hookers and continue to try and one-up homosapiens. Look at this sorry bitch trying to out-hooker Angylene! (...Alyssa's BFF/ sister from another mother).















(In this case only, the dog wins by a landslide)














Behold this amazing showgirl FH! Now move your eyes down further and observe a pathetic example of fancy hookerness gone awry. At least the peacock tried. But it's still a Fancy fail, a Hooker fail, and a peacock fail.

A-MAZING.

I feel sorry for this bird.















Wow. This is guy is even more deluded.




















Keep telling yourself that tibetan fox....

But Foxy Brown still is far and above you as a FH. (This is a foxy Brown impersonator but even Foxy Brown's impersonator is still skillfully skankier than that sorry looking little dude above. All gay Tibetan foxes dream of being fancy hookers but few if any will ever achieve their goal...



















We'll give him props for being cute, but this blog is about glorifying real Fancy Hookers, not cuteness. Words from the wise- (Alyssa and Daria)- If that Tibetan fox tried to dagger dance he would definitely end up with his penis broken and being carried off by the hyena he was dagger dancing with.


More on this topic in the upcoming post "The Dangers of Dagger Dancing VS the Awesomeness of Dagger Dancing: Is a broken penis really that bad?"