FANCY: HOOKER OF THE WEEK CONTEST!!!

We had so many submissions and suggestions regarding this weeks fancy hooker-on-topper . But there can be only one ho a week (we have lives too). So we will gladly share with you the runner-ups and then present you with the hooker to end all hookers; the ultimate hooker champion whose fanciness we think is unparalleled, unfuckwithable.

HOOKER RUNNER UPS:

#5) DAME JUDY DENCH

Definately a contender (check out the the rhinestone bodystocking she’s rockin'). And I quote “I've made so many movies playing a hooker that they don't pay me in the regular way anymore. They leave it on the dresser.” That's a real quote! Contrelle sent it to me.

Contest submission by Contrelle T’Shawn, Judy Dench Fan Club Prez

#4) NATALIA FABIA

We don’t know who she is but if it looks like a hooker and it talks like hooker and is painted as a hooker and last name rhymes with labia, then that’s good enough for us.

Contest and original painting sumbmission by Bob Ross

#3) PARIS HILTON

When she was in "crackhead phase". Now, normally we don't like to glorify crackheadery, however we made a special exception after seeing this picture. Who knew that she was capable of such crack-ho fanciness?

Contest submission by Tyrone Biggums

#2) ANGELYNE
This is a famous actress/fancy hooker and close personal friend of Alyssa. And I quote, "What can I say, hooker recognize hooker" - Alyssa on being friends with this hoe.

Submitted by another close personal friend of Alyssa's from Tampa, Chet Wilders:

And now we present our first winner of “HOOKER OF THE WEEK” who won by a whopping 16,00,0000,03 votes. No one was surprised.

#1) A HOOKER OF THE HUGEST FANCIEST PROPORTIONS....COCO AND HER ASS!!!!!!

The dichotomy of Coco is that she represents everything that is wrong with this world. What’s wrong being: not enough fancy, not enough gigantic booty to pour his baby gravy over, not enough bleached hair (other than LA) and not enough stripper poles at home.... and don’t get us started on her exemplary relationship with her partner in hook-pimpery, Ice-T, based on love and mutual respect for one another.

Observe the the ingenuity involved in this make-up application. What a woman! (hooker).

Don't question the majesty of Coco's beach ass-ballet

Editors note : Observe the vast differences between two women named Coco: One Coco is awesome and has a website that sells synthetic reproductions of her ginormous fancy ass, while the other Coco is an obscure, unsophisticated, flat-bootied non-hooker. One Coco's perfume smells like your grandma, while the other Coco's perfume is an exotic rasberry-peach-strawberry scented stripper spray. Be VERY careful not to get these two Coco's confused when google-imaging.